what's saving my life so far in 2025
a serious and fun life-saving list, full of shows, art, music, books & delicious things.
Dear friend,
One of my dearest friends asks me almost every time we get together about what I’m making for dinner. This is not the dinner I’m about to serve her, but the dinner that is in regular rotation in my kitchen these days. It’s her way of asking about what is working for our family right now, and I love that she asks me about something so practical and always relevant. Sometimes we’re both uninspired and struggling with what to feed our family, and share some solidarity. But more often, we remind each other of something easy and delicious that we’d stopped making or the invitation of a new recipe to try that comes with the hearty recommendation of someone who is also feeding five mouths.
As I thought about what is saving my life over these last months, I was remembering this question from my friend. Sometimes it feels a little silly to look back on all these things that have filled my days, but then I think how much I love hearing that question from my friend. I love knowing she’s in a similar place of working to nourish herself and her family. I love hearing the practical ways she’s showing up. I’m grateful every time for the solidarity and help to see beyond what I might be currently doing. And I hope this list feels like that for you too.
I am often paying attention to what is saving my life1, in all the small, deeply important ways. This winter felt exceptionally cold for Pennsylvania, both in weather and for my heart. Things feel heavy in our country and our world, and I’m noticing an uptick in my own anxiety after reading the news or being on my phone. The things that I notice are saving my life in any given season tend to be helpful, but in this season, they felt all the more essential. These were some of the things that helped ground me, remember who I was and what matters most. And I’m so glad to get to share this serious and fun life-saving list with you, full of art, shows, music & delicious things.
What I’m watching:
Having a show to watch with my husband that we both enjoy is always a gift, mostly because we don’t often find that we like the same things, even if we share many of the same values. To find a show that fits within the Venn diagram of shared values and entertainment we both like can be rare and is one I’m always grateful for.
Now, I’m going to recommend two shows that fit within the genre of anime. I know the stereotypes that come with anime, and I was skeptical2 at first myself. But I think this show is worth wading through the different animation style to enjoy a deeply meaningful story, with so many complex characters I care about and some tender topics3, including genocide. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood4 is the story of the hunt for a Philosopher’s stone by two brothers who have accidently altered their physical bodies after attempting to revive their dead mother. This is honestly one of my favorite shows5 and one we’ve returned to again and again.
We’ve also been enjoying slowly watching Avatar: The Last Airbender as a family6 over the last few months. While this one isn’t technically an anime, it was influenced by the genre, and might be a gentle introduction. While it might look like a kids’ show on the surface, I know our entire family finds this to be an engaging watch. For myself, I love how this story includes both humor as well as deeper themes like grief, loss, the complexity of war, the consequences of unchecked power, even colonialism and genocide. Just like middle grade readers often take difficult themes and make them a more accessible option for a younger/more sensitive audience without diminishing the weight of their subject, I think Avatar: The Last Airbender does this for it’s audience.
And I know I’m late to the game7, but we’ve been making our way through Ted Lasso’s three seasons8 and it has been so lovely. There’s plenty of mature content9 to be sure, but have I ever seen such an incredible, heartfelt apology10 on a show before? Or the perfect response to witnessing a friends’ abusive parent11? Or some tender representations of mental health struggles, especially for men? I tend to be skeptical of hype, but Ted Lasso is even more heartwarming than I hoped for.
What art I’m making:
For all the ways limits can frustrate me, I’m grateful for the way art is helping me to embrace them. Limiting myself to a few magazines or a single color palette has been a gift as I collage lately. It has been a gift to learn this from Kris Camealy12. It has been saving my life to collage regularly as a prayer practice, especially if I’m not sure where to begin or what is going on in my heart.
I’m still enjoying a regular art night with my husband, often pulling out my watercolors. But I’ve also started water coloring with a new friend at least once a month, and it has been such a gift to risk a little vulnerability by making art together as we grow our friendship.
What I’m listening to:
Like so many others, I absolutely loved the movie adaptation of Wicked and have had both the Broadway Cast Recording and the movie soundtrack on repeat in recent months. I love getting lost in the immersive music and story as I listen, and often sing along.13 But I’ve also been paying attention to what is happening in my body as I’ve been listening to Wicked on repeat. My whole body feels relaxed and happy, almost immediately. I’ve broadened my listening to include other musical favorites like The Sound of Music, Hairspray, Mamma Mia, The Greatest Showman & Hamilton. There’s nothing like belting out a song in the car or while making dinner to change my mood.
But when I’m not quite in a space for musicals, I’ve also been enjoying Instrumental Celtic music14. I wish I could remember where I saw it, but someone online shared that if you’re not feeling like making dinner, turning on an Irish jig can help you imagine you’re working in a busy pub, trying to get your regulars fed. It might sound ridiculous, but it has worked for me a handful of times. I’ve also seen a recent meme where someone shared she loves running to classical music as she imagines she’s running away from a ball. I love how music can fuel our imaginations!
What I’m eating:
I’ve got quite a sweet tooth, and am constantly on the hunt for how to satisfy my desire for something sweet while also trying to add a little more nutritional value, without compromising on taste. I still want my dessert to taste like dessert. Here are my two recent favorites that have been on repeat.
Tofu chocolate pudding. Okay, hear me out. You can’t taste the tofu and this tastes like rich, creamy chocolate mousse. Depending on the chocolate chips15 you use, it could be dairy-free and is already gluten free. Any kind of tofu will work, it will just impact how thick the texture is (pudding vs. mousse.) I’ve made this a lot recently.
A healthier blondie with added protein! I’ve made these with peanut butter, but any nut butter would work. And to make them gluten free, I made them with half almond flour & half gluten free flour blend and they turned out amazing. These have disappeared the same day I’ve made them.
How I’m helping my physical & mental health:
I’m no longer folding laundry. Something had to give in order to keep up with all the laundry of five people, and not folding clothes was it, apparently. I’ll clarify to say, everyone’s clothes get sorted into piles and I still fold my clothes and my husband’s. But my children are responsible for putting their clothes away and folding it if they desire. Parenting is full of surrender, and letting go of how I’d prefer to do laundry has been helpful and freeing in this season.
I hate making most phone calls, but especially ones to make appointments or calling representatives16. I don’t have a hack for making them, but I did see someone share a homemade recovering people-pleaser punch card on Instagram for every time they said no to something. I didn’t make a version for myself but it did help to picture it in my head (and make tally marks in my planner) every time I made a phone call on a recent day with lots of phone calls17 needed. And the relief of having done it on the other side is something I’m holding onto as I need to make more phone calls this week.
I often get cold sores, which feels frustrating for so many reasons18. But one of the main reasons is that there hasn’t been much I’ve found to do to help them heal faster than time itself. I’ve tried all sorts of things, and some seem to help with the pain or might speed up the healing process marginally. But this winter, I’ve discovered that washing them regularly with Irish Spring bar soap19 seems to make a world of difference, especially if I start washing my cold sore area as soon as I feel it coming on. I’m cutting the healing time probably in half and they don’t seem to bring quite as much discomfort, thanks to Irish Spring soap.
What I’m reading:
It has been so good for me to put my phone away and read more. Reading is always saving my life. Sometimes that is in big ways, like showing me something profound about myself or the world, or reminding me of the goodness in the world that I’m fighting for. Sometimes that is in “small” ways like offering me a safe place to rest and be immersed in someone else’s story. Every good book makes me glad all over again for the way reading is a gift in my life. Here are a few recent ones.
One Big Open Sky by Lesa Cline-Ransome
I really appreciated this look at the black female pioneer experience written in verse. If you want to go beyond Laura Ingalls Wilder, this middle grade reader was tender and a needed perspective on this time period.
A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher
If you want a stand-alone fairy tale that has some nods to Jane Austen and dark magic20, this one is for you. I couldn’t put it down.
Tom Lake by Ann Patchett
I got to read this reflective story with my book club and loved our conversation about what makes a good life and the impact of fame. This one was a hit with most of us, even with one friend who typically doesn’t enjoy Ann Patchett. And the audiobook is read by Meryl Streep which is a bonus.
Highcliffe House & Miss Newbury’s List by Megan Walker
I don’t love all regency fiction, and can be picky about what feels true to the time21 while still being engaging. I’ve found both of these books by Megan Walker to be enjoyable and reminded me of Edenbrooke22 even if it took me a little while (and perhaps suspending a little disbelief) to warm to these couples.
The Teller of Small Fortunes by Julie Leong
This is a cozy, heartwarming fantasy debut novel that has enough substance not to feel saccharine sweet. Even with a little predictability in the mix, I still teared up on more than one occasion for these characters.
The Unmaking of June Farrow by Adrienne Young
I’m glad I didn’t know much going into this one, but if you enjoy magical realism on any level, I’d encourage you to give this one a try. It’s worth noting that there’s some potentially triggering content23 though.
Dear friend, thank you for being with me and getting to the end of this long list of things saving my life. I'd truly love to hear from you. Feel free to just hit "reply" to this email. I read and savor every email that comes my way, even if I don’t always have the space to respond (which is often these days, but I’m trying!) I’d be so glad to know what’s saving your life so far this year or if my words brought up anything to the surface of your heart today.
Warmly,
Alison
PS. I’m so glad to write you this letter for free. It is a joy to do so. It is such a gift for you to be here, and I don’t need more thanks than that. But if you find my words helpful and would like to support me even more, here are a few ways to do so:
Forward this letter to a friend or invite them to sign up to get their own Dear Friend letter here.
Stay tuned for another Dear Friend letter soon!
If you’d like to read some of my other "life-saving” lists, you can read this one for sick days & this one for a season of transition here.
And there’s plenty of anime that I am highly uninterested in, so this isn’t a blanket recommendation for you to try all anime.
If you do try it, I’d encourage you to try it for at least 5-6 episodes. Episode 4: An Alchemist’s Anguish is a particularly tender one (feel free to ask if you want trigger warnings) but I think is worth getting to the other side of to decide if this show is for you. I think this show does an exceptionally good job of not using violence in a sensational way, but as a meaningful part of the story while also valuing life.
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood can be found on Netflix but is also available to watch for free online through Crunchyroll. You can watch it dubbed in English, but my preference is definitely for the original talented Japanese cast with subtitles. (And yes, I laughed at how nerdy I am to declare that!)
I’ll stop trying to convince you to try it, but just wanted to mention that it is rated 9.1/10 on IMDB and 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, and Avatar: The Last Airbender shares similar rankings.
When we watched the three-part finale, my eight year old told me that he was both very sad and very happy. Sad, because this wonderful show is over, but happy because it is just so good. He also said that if you like things that are exciting and adventurous and funny, you should try this show.
We don’t have a subscription to Apple TV so I’ve been waiting for my local library to have them. They must have been waiting for all three seasons to come out, because we are currently borrowing all three as a DVD set. One more reason I’m in love with the library!
At the time of writing this, we’re just starting season 3.
There’s a lot of language and some sexual content.
Season 1, episode 9: “All Apologies”
Season 2, episode 8: “Man City”
I loved this recent Substack from Kris and think you might too.
Although I wasn’t in many plays growing up, I feel like a long-lost theater kid at heart.
I now have a Pandora station with this name for easy listening.
I think you can also reduce the chocolate chips from 1 cup to 3/4 cup without tasting a difference. And the recipe calls for maple syrup, but I think it is mostly for the moisture, because I personally don’t think it needs the extra sweetness. I’ve found that if you don’t squeeze your tofu very much, you can skip the maple syrup or just add a little bit.
If you’re like me and have phone anxiety, especially about calling one of your representatives, I’ve found 5calls.org to be such a helpful place. You can pick the issue (protecting Medicaid, tariffs, library funds, etc.) that matters to you, and you’re led to some different options for scripts and step-by-step for talking to your representatives. It is still a little intimidating for someone who hates making phone calls, but this has been a help to me.
I made 12 phone calls that day and felt like I was worthy of a medal by the end of it.
Top few: I’m already stressed and don’t need more reminders of the stress. They hurt and feel ugly, and are hard to get rid of. And when I’m constantly holding a one-year-old who has no concept of germs, it is extra stressful to try to keep her from touching my face.
I’m curious if any soap would work, but haven’t experimented beyond this bar soap.
There’s also psychological abuse from a parent (think Mother Gothel vibes from Tangled) just so you know.
I’m also open to regency books that fully own how much they are diverting from history, but then they are more of a history based fantasy, in my opinion.
But Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson is better, in my opinion.
Violence, suicide and abuse are all part of this story, but feel free to shoot me a message if you want more info. on any of those elements.